May 08, 2012 | 10 : 25 PM
Money has never made a man happy, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants, instead of filling a vacuum it makes one. – Benjamin Franklin
I have been reading an excellent book lately called The Road less Travelled and it is making more small shifts inside me then I can recall in any book recently.
I am absolutely fascinated with the art of creating lasting love and the whole concept of how love is the path to everything we say we want in our lives.
Today as I was preparing some notes for my tribe of mortgage professionals who follow me I felt conflicted about my messaging and how possibly incongruent it could be, which inspired this post.
As a trainer I think of course I am ultimately selling hope and possibility to people who choose to follow me. The rub for me is when my message gets away from me and it appears that I am tying my message of possibility to the undisciplined pursuit of more money.
For people who know me well they know I have had a ravenous love affair with money over the years, that at times, not unlike any relationship that is based solely on lust, has created an incredibly tumultuous journey in my life.
This is where Scott Peck’s advice in “The Road Less Travelled” crossed my mind today. He believes that true love, a love that serves both in a relationship, only comes from either side not having any dependency at all on the other.
At the start of his thesis he suggests that when two lovers come together in marriage, in the beginning this love is largely based on purely physical attraction and the driving emotion is lust. I think you would agree for those who have been married for a long time there is some merit to this theory.
Of course as the physical nature of a relationship wanes, and the “honeymoon period” is over then I think the possibility of a marriage surviving requires the couple to build a stronger foundation of true love.
Easy to say, I know, but I think Peck lays it out very simply. Besides what I said above that each partner must not have an unhealthy dependency on each other for their fulfillment and happiness, he goes on to say that true love blossoms when each partner invests strongly and often in their own and their partners spiritual well being, put another way where both people are comfortable in their own skin.
I think we all know relationships where one of the partners unhealthy insecurities causes them to depend on their partner to make them feel loved, wanted, and that they will not be abandoned, which sadly of course often leads to the other partner feeling smothered which drives them into repelling their partner and their smothering ways.
I am choosing to really embrace this thinking as a catalyst to breathe some new life into my own 23 year relationship with my wife, and to re-invigorate some other important relationships that I have allowed to slip away.
I think the relationship in my life that needs a whole new approach and re-thinking is the difficult life-long relationship I have with money. If I apply the same thinking as above then the starting point is I think to approach this re-invigorated relationship without a dependency on the other, in this case money, for happiness and fulfillment.
I think you would agree that many, many, many people, in fact I would suggest a soaring majority of people, have an unhealthy and misguided dependency on money to provide happiness and fulfillment.
If we believe that an unhealthy dependency on another person most often leads to broken relationships that lead to divorce, and lots of emotional pain and suffering why can we not think the same thing about the dependency we assign to money and our relationship with it.
I often think of it this way. Take a look at the worlds richest people, and for certain the wealthy entertainment celebrities. I think you would agree that when we get a glimpse into these peoples lives they are almost all categorically a disaster of multiple marriages, mixed families, drug and alcohol abuse and the list goes on.
I think you would also agree that many of these people have a relentless pursuit of money to fuel their need for fame. I think by extension it is likely true for the worst of these rich people that they have an unhealthy dependency on money.
Of course there are exceptions. There are some rich people who seem to have a relatively blemish free life and untold riches. This used to be perplexing to me, until now. I think when we consider these people it certainly appears on the surface that they have money, often lots of it, but they appear to not have an unhealthy dependency on it as they are often prepared to measure their life on why they do, rather then on what they have.
I encourage everyone when thinking about earning money, or contemplating their next business move and forecasting how much money will be made that you spend a good amount of time on WHY you are making this money. I think if I do this my thinking will inevitably come back to me, my purpose, and will ultimately fuel my passion and motivation to keep serving all my people.
However if I say, “I am doing this so I can make a bunch of money and buy that fancy car, fancy house, insert random material thing here, and of course I will then be happy” two things happen.
- I have created a dependency on money for my happiness, and we now know when I depend on anyone or anything for this I will most certainly be let down.
- I will have shifted my thinking from my customer and how what I might do serves them to only be thinking of how what I might be considering doing serves me. In todays new business world I think customers are increasingly punishing this behaviour.
Please consider sharing this post, you never know who among your friends is struggling with an unhealthy relationship with money.
I have no delusions of this post solving the worlds dependency on money, I only hope that it balances mine…
May 01, 2012 | 8 : 40 AM
Thoughtful Self-Confidence can not be Overstated
Today, and actually for a few days, I have been thinking about self-confidence. My wife Tanya ventured off to obtain her nursing degree yesterday, after being out of school for 22+ years. As I wrote a few weeks back I was initially not supportive of this decision because I was acting out of my Core Wound, which really stems from a lack of self confidence in many ways I think.
Watching her get ready for this epic push this past few weeks, has been an unexpected boost for me in my self-confidence. I am certain this is not her intention, nor should it be, however, I think my point here is how much of a silent leader we can be for the people we love by simply modelling desirable behaviour.
In the past few weeks we have seen much uncertainty in the Canadian Mortgage industry which certainly can toss our lives to and fro’ when we allow it. Last week I was accused by someone of being a fear mongerer when I thought what I was doing was trying to inspire my tribe to act and disrupt instead of having their fate served to them.
This caused me to think about all mortgage professionals. I think as we move forward their will be all sorts of messages and rhetoric coming from many camps. I know from my experience that when my self-confidence tanks are low I am much more inclined to bounce from camp to camp, or battle cry to battle cry. I am certain when I reflect back on these times in my life that it is absolutely not helpful.
Accordingly the imperative then is to ensure that before the rhetoric, and “quick schemes” to help you do this or that start coming at a fevered pitch that we as mortgage professionals fill up our self-confidence tanks. I am certain that when I am fully self-confident and convicted in my vision then I have more resolve, and from experience I get everything that I say I want.
Top 7 Steps to Start Building Self-Confidence Today
1) I will Stop Comparing Myself to Others.
One of the many cruel things we do to ourselves is when we compare ourselves to others. We always choose to compare the things we dislike about ourselves against all the things we like in the other person. How ridiculous is that? I think we are better off to just stop ourselves from this altogether.
2) I Will Celebrate Me.
The kryptonite in my life has been the overwhelming need to belong and be accepted. I have been working incredibly hard in the last couple years to channel my uniqueness and celebrate it as I think we all should. When we throw away all the things that make us unique and awesome in our own way, just for the sake of being accepted by others, I think it is one of the cruelest things we can do to ourselves, and there is often much damage done “under the surface”.
Instead I think we should champion the things that make us unique and especially those things that advance us and derive the much deserved confidence we need to live life more fully.
3) I Will Run Toward My Challenges
I have learned that in the moments that I am un-consciously struggling with empty or low self-confidence tanks then I often start resisting dealing with my challenges. This of course starts a vicious downward spiral of lower self confidence resulting from the feelings that inevitably happen to us as our neglected problems start to close in on us. Ironically, when we engage in active decisioning and run at our challenges our self-confidence skyrockets due to the rush of good feelings that happen.
It is clear to me that most of the reasons we choose not to attack our challenges is we make up stories about how we think the outcome will unfold. For instance, if my problem is that I am working too long of hours because I am a control freak at my office. Then I won’t let anyone deal with my files because my story is that my clients and referral sources ONLY want to ever deal with me. Then I will continue to work like this and every day my well being goes down until I get to a breaking point in my life and business with the stress of long hours at work.
The truth is however that almost without fail the stories I make up are not true. I think I find out when I “check my story” that in fact it was entirely made up as an excuse for me to not have to confront a challenge that I knew I should. In my example above, in 100% of the times I have coached mortgage professionals through that story they find out that their clients and referral sources are happy to work with their team when they have been properly handed over. In my career I have seen many many people have significant breakthroughs when they let go of that story.
4) I Will Embrace and Celebrate My Failures
Richard Bach wrote in his great book Illusions “I create my own problems because there is a gift in every one”. I think the most important part of that statement is the acceptance that we alone in fact create all our own problems. When we blame someone or something else for the problems we have then we have lost all the power to solve them, and of course our self-confidence will plummet.
The second more obvious and much talked about part of that statement is that if we allow ourselves to see the gift, it is ALWAYS there. The rub I think is that when my self-confidence is down, due to wallowing as a victim, then I almost never will see the lesson. The simple formula I think is to 100% own my problems, look for and really internalize the lesson and for an absolute certainty my self-confidence will rise significantly.
Final point on this is to always remember that it is not over when we lose, it is over when we quit.
5) I Will Invest in my Relationships
One of the easiest, and I think maybe the most effective ways to really amp up our self confidence is when we give the gift of us, to others. Genuinely helping others get what they want in their life, affords us the all important self perspective that we matter. That we are important to others. That we are making an impact for others.
In my life every time that I really invest in making an impact for others in an effort to change their lives in a positive way I am the one is also changed for the better.
6) I Will Understand and Accept my Weaknesses
I think many of us try and hide our weaknesses from others. Furthermore, and worse, I think we also try and hide our biggest weaknesses from ourselves. Naturally, I am certainly not advocating that we should dwell on our weaknesses and for certain I am not suggesting that we should work on our weaknesses. This is actually one of the roots of our declining self-confidence.
The counter-intuitive strategy is to embrace our weaknesses and then let others help us where we are weak, instead of continually trying to get better at something we are not ever going to be good at. When we embrace our weaknesses then we relieve ourselves of delusions of grandeur and open ourselves to allow others to invest in us. (this is of course the flip-side of point #5 above).
The last important point about this is when I accept my weaknesses then I am not caught off guard when I fail, I am simply reminded of my need to allow others to help me.
7) I will be Authentic and Congruent
I have left the most important one until the last. I think there is no greater contributor to increased self-confidence then allowing people to know me, the real me. The sooner we all “rip off the mask” and stop trying to show people the person we think they want to see to accept us, but rather the person we really are, the more peaceful we will be. The more peaceful we are of course the more self-confident we are.
Let’s face it, we all know those people who are “faking it”. What an incredible amount of energy it is for us to pretend to be someone else. This mis-aligned energy in my opinion depletes self-confidence faster than anything. The most obvious point here is of course if I am pretending to be someone else, it has to be because I don’t like the real me, or I am concerned that others won’t, which of course means my self-confidence is non-existent.
Allowing another person or persons into the deepest part of our hearts and therefore letting them see us and all our warts is one of the hardest things we can do. However, when we do it and find out we are truly loved despite all our warts this breathes life into our power source and vaults our self-confidence into the stratosphere.
In light of this last point I would love to give you an assignment if you are willing?
If you are a parent take a moment in the next couple days to better know and love your child. There is absolutely no other exponential pay back that I know. If you are not a parent then choose another really important relationship that maybe you have been neglecting and take the time to give the gift of you.
Please consider “sharing” this and/or “liking” on facebook this post. I am certain there are many people in our lives who may need a boost, we just sometimes never know who they are because they have become really good at “wearing their mask”. Help them rip it off by sharing.
April 27, 2012 | 3 : 13 PM
I think many people unconsciously look for the short-cut to success. I think when we see someone hit it BIG we immediately say, “wow is he/she ever lucky” without giving enough thought to the road they took to get there. Often, we don’t even know the road we can only guess what it may have been like for that “overnight success”.
I think there is no such things as an “Overnight Success” there is only the dream of an overnight success that I think we often have for ourselves. I think that logic suggests that you would agree with me, yet we still always look for the short-cut?
5 Steps to Become an Overnight Success
- Work Really Hard. For months or…gasp even years. When an opportunity does come knocking, smash the F***ing door down!!! When you get tired then dig deep down and commit to keep running.
- The sting of failures along the way is only pain leaving my body. It is temporary. It can not hold me down. We can no longer tell ourselves excuses to justify our inactions. It is an un-workable position if we want to get everything we want in our lives.
- Lasting success, which is of course INFINITELY better then striving for an overnight success, anyone thinking of Vanilla Ice right now, is
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (Photo credit: DavidErickson)
a result of hard work…PERIOD. While I am on it if your are trying to change your game then I encourage you to read Do the Work
, it will change your life.
- If I really, really, really want success then I have to go get it. No one is going to give it to me. However, I think the secret weapon here is to be prepared to serve others. I don’t think we should EVER sacrifice our own path for someone else, but rather we should figure out ALWAYS how we can help others get on their right path.
- EXPECT to be ridiculed. Grow some skin. Haters are EVERYWHERE. Critics are people who don’t have the guts to do something big, and are insanely jealous when someone else is doing it. Every time someone hates on me I smile and gently say to myself “Keep going Greg, you must be on the right path”. Man, that lesson itself took what seems a lifetime for me to learn.
When we commit to these 5 steps and keep pushing every day, we will wonder one day “Man, How did I get so lucky?” then we will realize that it was not luck at all.
Now, please get back to working on your dream, we need you…
April 23, 2012 | 10 : 42 AM
I was the MC for the wedding of some special people this week in Cabo San Lucas. I decided that in this fast paced world, that the gift I would give was a well thought out list of the top 10 commandments to consider following to have a happy marriage.
This list comes from my own experience of being married for 20 years and the many many things I have done wrong and the few things that I have done right. Please spread these around, you never know who amongst your friends and loved ones is struggling with meaning in their relationship, and how maybe one or more of these insights will be the gift they need to push through and stay together in happiness.
10 Commandments of a Happy Marriage
I think Love is not just about finding the right person, but also in creating the right relationship.
It’s not about how much love we have in the beginning, but how much love we build over time. A relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make our smiles a little wider and our lives a little brighter.
Happy, healthy personal relationships are one of the greatest joys of life. So starting today, I encourage you to choose to take control of your relationship with your significant other. Here are ten commandments to follow together.
I will Always Slow Dance
There really can be no other safe, peaceful, and happier place then in the arms of my partner. EVERY time there is a slow dance, RUN, don’t walk to take the opportunity to express your love.
I Will Always be Secure with Myself
I think that true love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable.
Our first and last love is the love we have for ourselves. We should not rely on our significant other, or anyone else for that matter, for our happiness and self worth. Only we are responsible for that. If we don’t love and respect ourselves, no one else will be able to either.
I Will Always Celebrate My Partner’s Good Stories
Having an appreciation for how amazing my spouse is leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for them when they’re making progress. Even when maybe you are not. Cheer for their victories. Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions. Challenge them to be the best they can be. And be thankful for their blessings, openly and often.
I think you probably know this, but when we are encouraging of others, the payback in our own lives is immense.
I Will Always Allow my Partner to Make Mistakes, And I Will Always Support Them in their Failures
We should allow our partners to be their imperfectly perfect self. We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are.
If I need to climb a mountain, a tough business time period, or a tough personal financial situation then I am certainly more likely to succeed if my partner is there to catch me or boost me when I stumble, rather then jump on my back with blame and anger, and have me carry them as well.
I Will Always Understand My Partner and I Have Our Own Personal Dreams
People don’t fall in love with what makes us the same; they fall in love with what makes us different. We definitely should have a vision for our lives together BUT I think that this vision is actually the intersection of the individual dreams we each have. I think we should NEVER, allow our partner’s to sacrifice their dreams for us, or for the partnership.
I Will Always Put My Relationship With My Partner Above All Else, Including My Children.
I will not compare my relationship to anyone else’s – not my parent’s, friend’s, coworker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, and love habits. Just focus on you two, and making your relationship the best it can be.
There is no question in my mind that our relationship together has to be a higher priority then the relationship with our children. If “WE” are not good, then I think “they” are not going to be as good as they can be.
I Will Always Communicate My Feelings.
Never judge. Learn to respect and acknowledge the feelings of your significant other. Pay close attention to them. Be present. We don’t always need advice. Sometimes all we need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand. There is a time to speak out and a time to remain silent. True wisdom comes from knowing the difference. And this difference can make or break a healthy relationship.
I Will Always Choose Forgiveness and Compassion
Living our lives with anger in our heart is an unworkable position. I will end up hurting myself more than the people I am angry at. I think Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness.” Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean I’m erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means I’m letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with my life. I think the less time I spend angry at the people who hurt me, the more time I’ll have to love the people who love me.
I Will Always Settle Disputes Peacefully by Remembering, “I Would Rather be Happy Then Right…”
Not much is worth fighting about. Heated arguments are a waste of time, and often cause lasting damage. If you can avoid it, don’t fight. Step back from arguments with your loved ones and think.
I encourage you when you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on tip of your tongue, to just close your mouth and walk away. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. We don’t have to be right or “win” an argument to appease our ego’s. It just doesn’t matter that much. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation
I Will Focus on Quality Time Together Not Just Quantity Time Together
Make time for each other. With our busy schedules we often forget to relax and enjoy the great company we have. In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words
I Will Never Allow Money to Come Between Us
I think money is not the paper in my wallet or the numbers on my investment statement. Money is an energy, therefore Money’s role in our lives is what we decide that it will be. I think as soon as I put more energy into money, especially an unhealthy pursuit of more, then I am taking away from my focus of giving energy to creating my love story with my partner.
April 19, 2012 | 1 : 10 PM
International Money Pile in Cash and Coins (Photo credit: epSos.de)
I am in Cabo right now on vacation and getting ready to MC a wedding for some real special people. In preparing my speech for the wedding something really overtook my thinking for a few hours and I though I would share with you how I think the best ways to have a real healthy relationship with money.
I, like I am sure many, have a had real rocky relationship with money over the years. I think that as soon as I chose to think differently about money then things really changed for me.
1. Money is Not Material, Rather Money is Energy
If I choose to believe that money is not in fact the paper in my wallet or the change jingling in my pocket and that instead it is an energy, then I can choose how I allow that energy to work for me, or in many cases work against me when I am making bad choices.
I alone decide on all the thoughts I will have, including the thoughts, or energy,I have about money which of course means that I can choose the relationship that I will have with money. I have decided that my relationship with money, and certainly the undisciplined pursuit of more will not be more important then the relationships I have with my people in my life
2. Money is Infinite
Since I have chosen to believe that money is energy and therefore has the power I decide to give it in my life, then of course because energy is infinite, then money is also infinite. I like this idea because then when I am facing anxiety about money I am comforted to know that all the money I will need is available to me, as soon as I stop “worrying” about it.
3. Money Craves Abundance Thinking and Despises Scarcity Thinking
When I am in an abundance mindset then I am thinking BIG. I have less restrictions on my ideas and on my belief in pulling off my grand plans. Of course I think money follows this thinking. Those who I see practicing abundance thinking and sharing their best ideas openly with others seemingly have the most money and for certain seem very comfortable with their relationship with money. I think further that money craves the creation of value. The more value I create for others to get everything that they say they want in their lives and businesses the more I think money is attracted to that.
However, those who operate their lives from a win/lose or scarcity mindset I think must fundamentally believe that there is not enough money to go around, and therefore I think this often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Going forward in our lives where business happens at the speed of thought we need to share our ideas, and we need to create win/win scenarios so everyone succeeds, this abundance thinking will for certain magnetically attract all the money we need.
4. Money Avoids Entitlement Thinking
I think entitlement thinking comes from my ego, and certainly from a place of selfishness and insecurity. As soon as I catch myself say “I deserve this or that”, especially if it is money, then I think I am likely repelling others. The key to having all the money I need is to allow other people to help me get to where I want to go. If I am practicing entitlement thinking then no one wants to be near me let alone help me.
5. Elevate Your Thinking Over Your Current Financial Situation
Where I am now in my financial situation has ZERO correlation to where I could be in the future, unless I allow it to be. I strongly believe we need to have a real clear vision for our lives which of course means while I am present I must not allow my current situation to hold me back.
In my job as a business coach I see people struggle with this all the time. Whenever I hear someone say “I can’t afford this or that” it is absolutely NEVER about whether they actually do have the money to invest in an idea or not, because I am sure you would agree that If we really want something in our lives, like that new piece of clothing etc., then we will always find the money. If we really want to invest in an idea then we will find the money. However if I am allowing my mind to trick me into thinking I do not have the money to cover up for whatever the real reason I don’t want to do something, then I am programming my mind to focus on scarcity, this is a very slippery slope I think.
6. Be Real Clear on WHY You Want Money
This has been an interesting exercise for me lately. I have decided that if I am chasing money for the sole reason to create happiness for myself or to attain some kind of power and/or validation to others of my success, then I think money will either never come to me, or it will not stay with me long.
However, if I am pursuing my worthy purpose in life, which for me is creating an unexpected impact in the lives of others, then once again I now choose to believe that all the money I need will come to me. This thinking is a daily battle for me, but alas I keep trying because it is worthy.
7. Get Excited About Paying the Price
I think you will agree that there is always a cost to our successes. There simply is no easy way. Accordingly, I encourage you to never even wish for the “get rich quick” scheme or any other GURU’s “easy steps to success blah blah.” I think it is destructive to wish or indulge in these. Instead I think life is just simply more rewarding and satisfying when I am working hard, taking risks, and “doubling down” when I think my chosen path or idea is worthy.
The irony of this, is most people simply are not prepared to do this. Most people in my experience will stay in their comfort zone even if that means they are suffering which leads to more scarcity thinking which of course leads to more struggle and the spiral continues on. Of course this leaves a “Road Less Travelled” for those of us who will execute.
So What we believe about money can make us miserable or it can drive us to create the life we dream about that is not centred around accumulating wealth in monetary terms. Think of it this way, when a star hockey player is in a scoring slump often the slump gets worse and worse because all they think about is scoring a goal to get the monkey of their back and the slump goes on and on. The conventional wisdom is that when this player stops thinking about scoring and rather gets back to the fundamentals and focus on the team and the teams game plan, bingo they start scoring again.
Therefore the relationship we have with money is entirely dependant on us, isn’t it time we decided to get to know “Money” better?
Please let me know in the comments below how your relationship with money will endure.
April 11, 2012 | 9 : 59 PM
Seal of the United States Department of Homeland Security. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
United States Customs Officer: “What is the Nature of your business in the United States?”
Me: “I am speaking at an event”
Customs Officer: “Will you be paid for this?”
Me: (whilst thinking to myself, ‘This doesn’t seem to be going in the direction that I think is good for me, I need to make a split decision, do I lie or do I tell the truth?)
“Yes, I will be paid”
The customs officer now picks up the phone and talks to a supervisor, all the while a sense of pure dread is flooding over me. I start an inner argument that will last several minutes with myself about the wisdom of me telling the truth as I am beginning to think this is not going to end well for me.
“Please go through those doors and talk to the officer inside”
At this point you may be thinking, “Greg why didn’t you just tell them you were going sightseeing?” or better yet, “if you knew you were going to the United States to speak why didn’t you get your paperwork lined up?” Point taken, trust me this will never happen again.
Back to the story, I am sure you are dieing to find out how I got out of this one.
I decide while walking in to see the supervisor that I was going to stop this stupid battle inside me about whether I should have lied or not, the fact was I had already played my card, why would I now start beating myself up about the wisdom of that play?
How often do we second guess decisions we have already made, not to learn from the experience but rather to beat ourselves up for making what we think was a bad decision in our lives and businesses? Well I do it a lot, and it is something I am actively working on and this experience was an awesome reminder.
As I approached the desk to talk to the supervisor, and yes she had a major amount of “Customs Officer Attitude” I was feeling powerful since I cleared my mind of the distraction.
After a grueling amount of questions I was asked to go sit down while they did their research.
“Mr. Williamson, I am going to grant you a one-time only business visitor visa, I NEVER do this and the only reason I am is because you told the truth, you answered all my questions politely and you did not give me any attitude. I checked your travel record to the US and noticed you have routinely in the past declared items and I think you are an ‘honest traveller’.
Seems in this case that my PAST honest decisions have paid off, whew!
This got me thinking about if I chose to not lie to a customs officer, why do I lie to myself? Clearly, I have respect for a customs officer why do I not have the same for myself?
In my job I routinely hear people lieing to themselves, I think we all do it, all the time. “I can’t do this (insert anything that might be better for me or my business), because of (insert random lame excuse).
I know that I need to focus more on my health, clearly there is clear information for me to draw from, like when I take my shirt off, or when I am puffing after a flight of stairs, but I come up with awesome random excuses as to why NOW is not a good time for me. I think if I stop and analyze this it is clear I am lieing to myself.
Many times in my business of coaching people to grow their businesses I see people with clear information and often proven measurable results that a strategy works but they don’t do it? I think these people on some level are also lieing to themselves. They say they want (insert certain % of growth or other result), but when faced with the prospect of having to execute, they (insert random excuse here).
I think the evidence is clear, the difference between those who succeed and those who are struggling is execution with no fear of failure.
Here’s to no more lieing to ourselves.
Please let me know your thoughts…
April 09, 2012 | 12 : 44 PM
I am happy to celebrate an anniversary. It has been one year this month since I started my journey of discovering that to win in what I call the “New World” I need to market with “New World” marketing techniques. For the Mortgage Industry, and really I think for all industries I have discovered two foundations to build from when deciding if one wants to start marketing on-line with “New World” ideas.
- Build a LIST of People Who I have NOT YET done business with
- Control the Lead.
My experience of most mortgage professionals is that they still have a very high focus on their list of PAST customers and they generally wait and rely on someone else to REFER them leads. Bottom Line: I think those Mortgage Professionals and others who gently start moving away from what might have worked in the past to the foundations I list above will be set up better to take advantage of what might be a tougher market and certainly tougher customer mindsets in the months and years ahead.
It has taken me 12 months to learn, test, and earn income consistently from “New World” marketing strategies. I have created a four-part framework that I also often refer to as my marketing funnel. ALL of my currently successful on-line marketing efforts follow this simple frame-work and certainly going forward based on my early success I am expanding my thinking and executing following this framework.
Attention, Interest, Nurture, Convert.
Attention:
I heard this bantered around on-line as I was learning from the various experts out there. ”It is not about traffic anymore, it is about conversion.” Of course this got my mind spinning out of control. The best part when I focus 95% of my effort on conversion is that I must then create a very compelling offer. The “Old World” marketing, especially in the mortgage business on-line, is a numbers game. Many of the current mortgage professionals on-line are trying to win at one game; increasing the amount of their traffic. This I think is becoming an expensive venture, as google increasingly is moving these people from SEO to pay per click advertising. Let’s face it, I think Google really does not want to give this lucrative traffic for Free? The beginning of the end of SEO I think is near.
Old world on-line mortgage marketers do what? “I have the lowest mortgage rate over here!!” Which of course elicits the response from their on-line mortgage marketing competitor, “No, I have the lowest rate over here?” I think increasingly this strategy is a race to the bottom, and quite frankly I am betting that on-line mortgage shoppers want more then this argument on-line.
The key to this whole argument may not be to stop advertising “I have the lowest rate over here” but rather think through the page that you take this shopper to on your site. I happen to see one of the biggest mortgage brokerages in Canada who spends what seems to be a healthy budget on on-line advertising fail miserably in my opinion right here. If I click on one of their on-line ads “I have the lowest rate over here” I then get taken to their home page, and I am left wondering “what does he/she want me to do now?”
When thinking of capturing attention, think of your compelling offer first, then make sure that the page you take your shopper to is in alignment with the offer you want them to know you have. Consider also using video, free e-books, specific high value articles and white papers, and invites to webinars as a way to bring them further down the funnel.
Interest
I think the biggest thing that all marketers on-line would do well to learn is to be patient. For instance in the mortgage business we have learned from CMHC that the average home owner starts their search for information on-line a full 11 months BEFORE they intend to buy.
Back to the Mortgage professionals above who judge their business on “how many unique visitors we have” instead of on how many customers they convert, (another way to look at this is measuring your “Cost per Acquisition” instead of your “Cost per Click”) is to imagine if we have a mortgage shopper who is a year away from buying and happen upon your ad on-line somewhere and click it (which you now pay for) only to be taken to a page discussing rates, or worse to a page that has nothing to do with the copy in the ad? Will they stay? How will they start a relationship with your brand?
Now, what if you offered that visitor a very informative e-book for free without even giving an e-mail address (increasingly this is not working anymore either as people are getting more and more stingy with their e-mail) and in that e-book was links back to certain offers and further explanations of your most important strategies that they could learn.
Ok, now what if they were on that second page that you drove them to from them having read your insanely valuable e-book, and now they are consuming videos, or reading more about you and your insane value proposition, and you wanted to bring them ever more closer to you in the funnel?
Nurture
Nurturing a lead I think is the main mistake many marketers are making especially those who are looking on-line for their leads. Mortgage professionals would do well to remember that CMHC has told us that well over 80% of people begin their search for information on-line. I see a lot of marketers go for the kill once they have captured the customers attention. Shockingly I have seen many mortgage marketers tweet “I have an insane value for you, hurry before rates go up” and then the link in their tweet takes them to their on-line mortgage application. Really? Come on people I think we need to stop being lazy and realize that is ludicrous going forward.
Nurturing a lead is super fun, as well. However I will not sugar coat this for you. This part of the funnel is an epic amount of work.
Ok, I think we left off that your on-line visitor has come to your page from an ad on-line or off-line, or was referred by someone and they have downloaded your free e-book that was stuffed with links back to a second level of interaction on your site. A page that has a high amount of valuable videos and another level of cool e-books to download. To nurture the lead we must now ask them to take an important step forward, give me their e-mail address.
I think the best way to do this today is to invite them to an insanely valuable webinar. There is some great technology today to have webinars that are perceived live and offered on pre-determined schedules which of course automates your marketing, which is essential.
Once they give me their e-mail then I think at this point they are certainly farther along in my funnel, it is time to really amp up the nurturing process. I build auto-responder e-mail campaigns that will automatically send an e-mail to these people every few days with a new gift of knowledge. More videos, links to blog posts I made, links to more e-books, links to more webinars, and of course at this point on every e-mail I send I remind them of my “compelling offer”.
With the amount of free gifts of knowledge I have given them along with videos and other FREE offers I have built up considerable trust, but what might be more important is the extremely powerful motivation humans face called the “law of reciprocity”. Simply because I gave them all these free gifts they will feel the need to at least give me a chance and discuss their mortgage.
However I don’t want to take any chances, so the auto-responder e-mails and the videos I drip on my prospects clearly explain my most important and compelling value proposition very clearly. In my case I make sure the customer is familiar with the problems they have that they may not even know they have that my Inflation Hedge Mortgage Strategy solves. On top of that I now make sure they see clearly on all my e-mails what my CLEAR and compelling guarantee is. (You can see a version of it here)
The best part of spending the time of building my nurture systems in advance is that then as I open up my funnels people are working through the funnel at their own pace while I work on my business and enjoy my life, I can see in real time how many people I have in various parts of my funnel at any time and then as people drop through the bottom of the funnel I now have the opportunity to convert these leads.
Convert
The key to conversion I think going forward is that the customer is basically almost sold on me and my strategies before they ever come see me. However having said that I must make sure that I have a solid sales process that complements my on-line marketing funnel. Imagine if someone spent 5 months in my funnel, comes out the other side and wants to do business with me and the experience they had does not at all match everything I said in my videos, webinars, and e-books?
This is easy, know your compelling offer CLEARLY, in my case it is the Inflation Hedge Mortgage Strategy, present it properly when the customer comes out of the funnel, and you will never have to make good on your guarantee.
Comments? I love comments.
March 28, 2012 | 12 : 04 PM
I recorded this video almost two years ago, about the importance of crafting an important vision but more importantly about ensuring I am connected with it. With all the changes and ominous headlines affecting the mortgage industry these days, I am certain that being connected to my vision is mission critical. If you find yourself “feeling off” or for certain if you are overly anxious, or worried about your future then I encourage you to put forth the effort to create a vision. Drop me a line if you want some help. I love doing that stuff.
When I recorded this video about the importance of crafting a vision ironically at the same time I was squashing someone ‘s vision that I love dearly.
At the time my wife Tanya was talking to me about her dream to go back to school and get her nursing degree now that our kids are all grown up and leaving home soon. I responded with some stupid comments like…
“Are you CRAZY? You are 42 years old!”
“The schooling will be way to hard”
“This will upset our vision (which really was my vision) for our lives?”
and the best one of all, “what if you fail?”
When I look back at this now, I am incredibly ashamed of myself and my selfish actions. Certainly there was a big part of me who was genuinely concerned about the difficulty it will be to go back to school, and the ramifications to her emotions if in fact she did not complete the course. Funny thing is when well meaning family members and friends are “trying to protect us” from our lofty and worthy dreams and visions they in fact are really thinking of themselves on some level aren’t they? Maybe they are jealous when we are achieving and they are not? Maybe they don’t want to support our lofty dreams because it will disrupt their lives?
Here’s the best part of this story. I am happy to report that my wife, two years after my epic failure to support her, went all on her own without my knowledge and did the research, made the application and got accepted to nursing school. Why would she ask for my help or let me know what she was doing? I blew that and did not deserve to be a part of this happy moment in her life. Yes, thinking of that does sting a little bit.
I think we are all facing a pretty big shift as entrepreneurs and mortgage professionals, which of course means there also is a big opportunity for those willing to go against the crowd, and commit to not listening to our well meaning friends and family when they are squashing our vision.
I know this sounds a little bit like “too little too late” but I am so proud of Tanya and I plan to be her biggest supporter now and I am invested in ensuring she gets everything she wants in her life, god knows she has done that for me over the last 23 years.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how we let people squash our dreams, please comment below
March 18, 2012 | 5 : 07 PM
I have been talking about, starting then stopping on the workout train for some time now, but this is post is less to do about that and more to do with a very effective website process at GoodLife Fitness
Of course like anyone today shopping for anything on the web I had some expectations of the web experience I would have to reach my ultimate quest, which was “Which Gym would I buy a membership from?” For my Mortgage Professional readers I encourage you as you read this post to think of your business. I would suggest that as I had already decided I wanted to (more like need to) choose a gym to work out at, much like I am certain when most people who arrive at your website have decided they want, or once again more likely need, a mortgage.
I narrowed down to two different Gym’s in my area that I was considering. The first website had all the information I needed with respect to price etc. There was no pictures or videos or really anything telling me what this particular facility had and the price seemed high. No reason for me to call them and connect with them because I found all the information I think I was looking for. As Seth Godin has said, the world of sales is changing. Increasingly people are avoiding sales people, and in the least think they no longer need salespeople to transfer information.
Think of this as a normal mortgage website that has all the interest rate information I need. Is there any reason for me to connect and call that Mortgage Professional? Why would I. Especially if it appeared I found other interest rates on another site lower, which of course I will ALWAYS be able to do that.
Then I come to the GoodLife fitness website. FIRST thing I see, register here to get a three day pass. Nice idea, however I know that Gym salespeople might be the biggest sharks, or at least that is the story I had made up, so I wasn’t biting yet. What is the next thing I would do then? Right, look for prices.
As I navigated to the membership category area I realized they would not tell me the prices, instead it asked to fill in a form to get a membership coordinator to call me. I was getting annoyed. Would I bail and search elsewhere? No. Why not. As I navigated around the site I realized that they had tanning, (I am going to Cabo in the spring, Yes there might be a correlation to my new found interest in working out and my upcoming trip to Cabo), they also had a pro-shop with discounted prices (I like the idea of conveniently and inexpensively purchasing my protein powders etc.) The point was their website was ENGAGING me because it had good information on other things I might be interested in. Does your mortgage website do that for people?
What happened next was I caved in and called the club location I was interested in. First question…”I can’t find your prices on your website…” she says “Ya, we don’t put our prices on the website”. That’s it? Aren’t you going to close me? She then goes on to recommend I speak with a membership coordinator. I say “no thank-you. Not right now.” The sale is hanging in the balance and what does she do….Says ok, and we hang-up. Sigh, lost opportunity for that gym? No, not for me, but I think for many others it could be. I think she should have closed me for the three day free pass.
Back to our Mortgage Websites, I encourage you to ask yourself “does my website have engaging enough content to create interest in a prospect to call me.” What happens next in your sales process? Do you try to sell them right then and there on the phone or do you offer them a FREE three day pass to increase their engagement with you?
Some examples of a Three Day pass in the mortgage business might be sending them a Free e-book on something important about mortgage and/or house shopping. Maybe it would be to send them to a 20 video series on the 10 most frequently asked questions and the 10 most should ask questions about buying a house and/or getting a mortgage? Maybe it would an invitation to an upcoming webinar that you are doing? I think you would agree that since I started doing these things in my mortgage business I am certain my lead nurturing and ultimately lead conversion is increasing substantially.
Yup, the world is changing. Our mortgage websites can’t give ALL the answers and certainly should not give our prices, until a customer is willing to come closer to us. However, what if they are willing and I don’t provide them a way to do that outside of “sign-up for my mortgage newsletter/spam” or worse “click here to apply on-line now”. These I think are both antiquated and Epic failures that simply will work less and less going forward.
Got to run, now I am going to go and have a visit and tour of my new Gym and claim my Three Day pass.
If you want to check out my initial steps in changing the way we market to website visitors then checkout any of these web properties of mine. You will notice there are no interest rates posted on any of them.
Canada Mortgage Direct
Canadian Home Buyers Academy
Money In Your Mortgage
180 Degrees Academy
March 03, 2012 | 3 : 42 PM
Was sitting and thinking about my business and some deadlines I have coming up for projects, one of which was to plan a speaking event for a big conference I have been asked to keynote the lunch session.
I have had many “New World” marketing ideas percolating in my mind for quite some time. I have seen big results in my software business 180 Degrees Solutions in just a few short months of utilizing the newest marketing ideas.
One idea I have been really harping on lately was building “Customer Attraction” marketing as opposed to the old methods of “Pushing Product” and pursuing customers relentlessly.
This thinking brought up a new idea that I would love to share with you. I know that when I say “stop PURSUING customers, people scratch their heads a little.” To clarify this idea and to further support my idea of creating customer attraction marketing systems, I would like you to think of a big LEVER.
I think that many of us are not thinking past the idea of creating referral relationships when thinking of creating leverage in our businesses. The idea of leverage is simply:
“How do I do the least of amount of work for the maximum amount of results?”
Why make a sales call to one person when you can sell to a room of people? Why make one sales presentation to only one person when you can record a video series that will be seen by many potential customers for months to come? Why hold one “Home Buyers Seminar” in a room when you can record a webinar that is seen by people for months and months to come?
For instance, I recently recorded a series of Free Videos for mortgage professionals to learn some good sales tips and ideas to help their businesses, along with many free gifts (e-books, bonus videos, white papers, and bonus recorded webinars). In less then one month there have been over 1,300 views of these videos. Can you imagine if I had to meet with each of those mortgage professionals one at a time and repeat my teachings to them in an effort to compel them enough to consider becoming a member of my Mortgage Professionals Academy?
In this campaign, I created two Evergreen Webinars (means they were recorded but are simulated live and will run for months and months collecting leads continuously) that people are still watching a month after I recorded them. I also created four videos and offered as I said a bunch of free bonus gifts that were designed to give people real value. I will be using this series for six months or more to bring customers into my company. In the first week alone we have over 165 people who jumped in and volunteered to get closer to us. This is the power of leverage.
What could you do in your business? I encourage you to consider what I do, I routinely ask myself when I am thinking about creating new customer attraction systems “Where is the BIG Lever?”
